Temper at test!

I've had a real bad temper all these years. And I agree it hasn't reduced one wee bit. But to my surprise I have developed tolerance to a certain level beyond which I might just burst off in a frenzy. I really love my privacy and do not entertain any forms of intrusion. Oflate, I see a lot of things around me that provoke me into anger but I just curb myself from acting upon it. Because, I know that a mere exchange of words will not make a difference. But my mind fails to accept this simple fact and contemplates a little too much. They mock at my beliefs. They try to obtrude. They try to change me when they have to change in the first place. They have too many reservations against me when I mean nothing to them. I only return a smile when confronted because they just don't deserve my time. If only they can sense the simmering anger in my eyes... But, they never take the hint!

The J factor...

Well, I've been thinking for quite sometime now... Why is that only women are possessed with this J factor :P... It's so evident...that simmering fire in their eyes... Ofcourse, I have patches of it... ;) It pops up at times and seems inevitable... :P It's funny at the end of it all... I laugh at it... post-indulgence ;)

When will we grow out of it is a million dollar question... But I guess it's not all that bad... Girls are competitve... aren't we?!! ;)

And the J factor is quite a catalyst! ;)

And... It happened!

I walked with a folder clutched in my hand, through the dense forest-like MCC campus. 3 years before, I had been in this same campus fooling around with friends and now, I walked the same path on a different mission.

Hexaware technologies campus recruitment.

This was apparently my first interview in my entire life. I had brushed off campus recruitments, bunked and hung out with friends during my undergraduate days, so I never really had first hand knowledge of what an interview was like. I must admit I was quite edgy.

The examination hall brimmed with activity. I was going to take up the aptitude test along with 120 students from 5 colleges in Chennai. And it was a widespread talk that the apps was going to be damn tough and it turned out to be true.

100 tough questions in an hour. Hexaware guys admit its not possible to get over with all 100 in 60 mins. Yet, we struggled to hit off the 50 mark at the least. It was the worst. I decided I'd start off with english and then head to the math and technical stuff. I made my way to the 65th question when they snatched the paper from me.

My mind was crowded, manipulating numbers and alphabets. I was wondering why they questioned MCA students on electronics! Humourous people!

After a short break came the results, 22 out of the entire crowd. I was glad to know I got through to the GD.

The GD was pretty casual and interesting. The HR guy was cool and I learnt that he had a knack of grabbing every little thing that caught his eyes and ears! The discussion went on for about half an hour. We discussed on our "Dream home". Well, it wasn't a topic of sorts for GD but eventually they got what they wanted.

And I was one among the 13 to get through to the technical cum HR interview.

I was the second last on the list. And that made me very impatient. I had gotten up early, made my way this far, and starved. I wanted to be done with it, so I could get back home and crash. Each person spent a handsome 15 minutes with the Technical Head. And those done with it were isolated or may I call it "quarantined". They wanted to keep the rest of us in the dark about the kind of questions.

I looked like a zombie when I entered the room. I took my seat in front of two guys. The cool HR guy and the stern looking Technical Head. I was kind of uncomfortable with the Technical guy because of an unfriendly look on his face. I had no questions from the HR guy. The Technical Head glanced through my resume. For an instant I thought he was looking at an uninteresting book cover by the look on his face. And for the next 15 minutes, I literally fought a blitzkrieg of questions which comprised of most of the concepts I've known all these years. The questions fired like a bazooka. Both of them shared secret laughs now and then. I wondered why! Finally he showed some mercy on me and I came out fully relieved.

And we waited to hear from them. A full 10 minutes had driven us crazy enough. I was famished and almost dead. They ushered all 13 of us into the room and the Technical Head gave us the holy results for the day!

I was extremely happy and excited to know I was one among the 4 who got selected!

I really don't know what it is with that Technical guy! He only showed signs of friendliness once the interview was over! He welcomed us to join the Hexaware family!

And... It happened!

Where are my tears??!

Psychic tears. Yes. I have shed loads of it.

I remember walking through the maternity ward when I heard the sharp cry of a newborn. Tears trickled down my cheeks and I quickly sought succour behind a pillar for fear that someone might see me. I stood there still, with my eyes fixed on "nothing" until the cry stopped. And, I left that place with no trace of tears on my face!

On a cross road junction, my eyes met with those of an old man who walked to me and asked for alms. I gave him few bananas I had and turned back to realize I was crying!

Nokia 6300. Stylish and sexy. I was elated to own one. I took utmost care of it and treasured it like a priced possession. And I cried like a baby when it conked out!

It was a pleasant morning when we were driving to Wayanad on a college tour. I looked out of the window when I realized I was crying. I missed my home! I missed Madras!

Well, these are some of the times my lacrimal glands got into action, for reasons unknown or for reasons that now sound trivial.

I cried for people who weren't related to me, and for things that needed less attachment.

And now, when I lost my grandmom, I din't shed a single drop of tear. I have known her since my birth. We loved each other. We shared some of our best times together.

Have I become so hardhearted to not have cried? Don't I love her the same way I did before we parted a decade ago? Do all relations need to be in touch to feel the same feelings I once had?

Where are my tears??!!